Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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I bought a really nice bag of trail mix.
After my kids got a hold of it,
I now have a really nice bag of raisins.
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Fun Fact: A paper airplane can be in flight and remain stationery.
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TEIAM — problem solved.
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I've been trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it's not easy. Good players are hard to find.
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What did Yoda say
when he saw himself in 4K?
HDMI
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Without me it is just aweso
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Dear karma,
I have a list of people you missed.
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Sometimes I get excited
about canceled plans.
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I'd be much healthier if I didn't have taste buds.
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Eat glitter for breakfast and shine all day!
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