Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

It's the inside that matters.
Like my fridge.

I think I'm approaching my
"best if used by" date

People think I'm too patronizing
(that means I treat them as if they’re stupid).

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

There's no "we" in fries

Lazy is such an ugly word.
I prefer selective participation.