Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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I think I'm approaching my
"best if used by" date
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People think I'm too patronizing
(that means I treat them as if they’re stupid).
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It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
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There's no "we" in fries
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Lazy is such an ugly word.
I prefer selective participation.
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