Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

It's the inside that matters. Like my fridge.

I think I'm approaching my "best if used by" date

People think I'm too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they’re stupid).

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

There's no "we" in fries

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer selective participation.