Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Exercise can add more years to your life. I just ran a mile and I already feel like I'm 82.
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As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.
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Official family troublemaker.
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Don't take life too seriously.
You will never get out alive.
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I finally found a machine
at the gym that I like:
the vending machine.
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The secret of staying young
is to live honestly, eat slowly,
and lie about your age.
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I've learned to trust my gut. It may hang over my pants a little, but it still knows things.
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You can't change the people around you,
but you can change the people around you.
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My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father." I think he got a pirated copy
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Grow up Math. Solve your own problems.
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