Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
You have to be odd to be number one.
I intend to live forever, so far so good.
Why do people have to get ready for bed?
I’m always ready for bed.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Life Tip:
Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.
I've never felt more like a dummy than the day I learned my proctologist is also a ventriloquist.
I have many great qualities
or as my therapist calls them
"symptoms".
Have you heard of Amal and Juan, the identical twins? Their mother only carries a photo of one of them in her wallet, because if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.
At first leeches seem like an archaic and disgusting treatment for disease, but they grow on you.