Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
A guy was admitted to the hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is stable.
I love going outdoors.
It's much safer than going out windows.
On the surface of things, whales are always blowing it.
* puts a bunch of sparklers on the counter *
"How much for the angry incense?"
I am studying Eastern Europe, but I may never Finnish.
I'm not Russian.
Why do speed walkers
look like kids who are told
not to run around the pool?
Everyone I know is a "snack getting stuck in a vending machine" away from total collapse.
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
I accidentally ran into a lamp post, but it was ok, I only suffered light injuries.
Tequila may not fix your life but its worth a shot.