Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I learn from the people who take my advice.
Went to a seafood disco. Pulled a mussel.
"I can't wait until I'm grown" was the dumbest shit I have ever said.
After 100 years on the bottom of the ocean, divers were amazed to find the Titanic's pool was still full.
The invention of the teaspoon caused quite a stir.
Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It's called sleeping.
I can't find a good time machine anywhere. They just don't make them like they're going to.
I've opened three birthday cards and I'm already $150 up. I love being a postman!
Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.
I'm anti-work but pro-paycheck so you see my dilemma.