Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Never trust trees, they are shady.
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Why can't your nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
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Do you know why we don't eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
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Our butcher sells sausages online; but the links are broken.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers today, but I couldn't find any.
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I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
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I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why I'm right loudly.
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Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries.'
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I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying.
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