Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
It's so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my screen.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
I once lived a stones throw away from a family who all died of mysterious head injuries.
I love how twix comes with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after.
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
Due to a recent coin shortage, no one is allowed to put in their 2 cents anymore.
Whoever put the 'S' in fastfood is a marketing genius.
I found out my neighbor breeds deer for racing. He's always trying to make a quick buck.
We only die once. We live everyday.
For a while Houdini used trap doors in every act.
It was a stage he was going through.