Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Do I play any dangerous sports you ask? I sometimes disagree with my wife.
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You know you are in the coolest biology class ever if your homework eats your dog
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The cashiers around here keep checking me out.
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I tried to take a high resolution picture of a wheat field but it came out grainy.
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I named my dogs Rolex and Timex. They are my watch dogs.
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Never trust trees, they are shady.
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Why can't your nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
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Do you know why we don't eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
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Our butcher sells sausages online; but the links are broken.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers today, but I couldn't find any.
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