Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I'm not doing well in my reverse origami class. I'll let you know how it unfolds.
I was meant to keep my joke about manholes a secret. Guess I have blown my cover
In my life I've cut down 173 trees. I know because each time I keep a log.
I finally figured out why vegans are healthier. They have to walk at least twice as far to find a vegan friendly restaurant!
Sleeping in could easily be my superpower, if not for my arch-nemesis having to pee.
Misleading sheep? Must be fake ewes
The four seasons are all different. Summer warmer than others.
Apparently I snore so loudly it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80's far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
I keep losing my phone. Why doesn't someone invent a phone that stays attached to the wall.