Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Math: The only subject that counts
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Hate is all the rage right now.
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Ambiguity. What happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness
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Thermometers are just speedometers for atoms
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If the Earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.
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Glasses make you look smart, but you have to fail an exam to get them.
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I was disappointed to learn that 'landlady' isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
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I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."
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I wonder if Vanna ever fell asleep at the wheel
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Tab is just a capital space.
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