Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I don't like the term "dad bod". I much prefer "father figure".
What's wrong when a physicist and a biologist enter into a relationship? There's no chemistry.
I got fired from the massage parlor for rubbing people the wrong way.
Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.
History does not repeat itself, people repeat history.
I went to one of those trampoline places with my kids but I couldn't get past the bouncers.
I haven't tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So I am pretty sure I hate yoga.
What do solids, liquids and gases have in common? They all matter.
My wife thinks I have a hard time verbalizing my emotions. Can't say I'm surprised.
Did I 'kill a plant" or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment?