Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Math: The only subject that counts

Hate is all the rage right now.

Ambiguity. What happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness

Thermometers are just speedometers for atoms

If the Earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Glasses make you look smart, but you have to fail an exam to get them.

I was disappointed to learn that 'landlady' isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.

I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

I wonder if Vanna ever fell asleep at the wheel

Tab is just a capital space.