Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I used to work at Twitter, but now I'm an X-employee.
A bike in town keeps running me down. It seems to be a vicious cycle.
The first million people to send me $1 will get a copy of my guide on how to become a Millionaire using Facebook. Act now!
To the person that stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy now.
I was going to tell you a joke about butter, but I'm afraid you might spread it around.
Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot!
Always late but worth the wait.
Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
I'm on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 9 days.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.