Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Nobody else in my family can preserve food, but I can.
I'm currently helping my son search the house for the chocolate I ate last night.
I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.
I would lose weight but I hate losing.
Prepare your kids for social media. Put their artwork on the fridge and write a bunch of mean comments under it.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside of the box.
Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.
An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.
Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go.