Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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I just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
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Where did the IT guy go? He probably ransomeware.
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I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
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The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
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With great reflexes comes great response ability.
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Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
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When I lose the TV controller, it's always in some remote location.
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Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
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Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
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Welcome to our "ool", notice there is no "P" in it, let's keep it that way.
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