Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
People can't drive you crazy if you don't give them the keys.
Ice is just water going through a hard time.
I learn from the people who take my advice.
Went to a seafood disco. Pulled a mussel.
"I can't wait until I'm grown" was the dumbest shit I have ever said.
After 100 years on the bottom of the ocean, divers were amazed to find the Titanic's pool was still full.
The invention of the teaspoon caused quite a stir.
Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It's called sleeping.
I can't find a good time machine anywhere. They just don't make them like they're going to.
I've opened three birthday cards and I'm already $150 up. I love being a postman!