Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

A cigar is just a yoga session with fire.

The economy has changed so much. When I was a kid, I could walk into a store with $1 and walk out with 4 candy bars. Now they have cameras everywhere.

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Life is like a bird. It's pretty cute until it craps on your head.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

I don't have a solution, but I can offer a critical comment.

Research confirms that 4 out of 3 people struggle with math.

You should laugh at your problems, everyone else does.

For every action, there's a corresponding over-reaction.