Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Lost my pizza cutter so I used a Bryan Adams CD. It cuts like a knife.
Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out - "You have reached your final destination."
If you see me talking to myself, I'm having a staff meeting.
I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
Pepsi and Coca Cola can't even be in the same restaurant, and we want World peace?