Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths

I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.

My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.

If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.

People who don't understand sarcasm are awesome.

I feel like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.

I think it's about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I'm the Problem"

I'm at the age where all my posts start with the phrase "I'm at the age where."

My pin is the last 4 digits of π.