Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sort By: Most Popular Newest Random
Diet tip: Your pants won't get tight if you don't wear any.
🔎View
It is so hot outside that my sweat has sweat.
🔎View
Tropical state of mind, but on a backyard budget.
🔎View
If there is no pool, I am not showing up.
🔎View
I have resting beach face.
🔎View
High tides and good vibes, until I get sand in my eyes.
🔎View
Currently enjoying a strict routine of doing absolutely nothing.
🔎View
My favorite summer activity is going back inside where the AC is.
🔎View
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
🔎View
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
🔎View